“Who am I?”
This is the single most important question in life. IT HELPS SET DIRECTION. It empowers you to be the captain of your ship. Without clarity of direction, we're a ship without a rudder, randomly blown around by life. I answer this question on identity in different ways below.
Adjusting my eyes to the sunrise with gratitude after a 6-day dark retreat (an exploration into the depths of consciousness in an isolated room devoid of all light )
"These eyes are of a person who has seen things." 2022, one of my own coaches observed after my burnout
Knowing WHO WE ARE accurately is incredibly empowering. It took many years of my own inner work, guidance from mentors & teachers, and spiritual enquiry to answer this question with the depth that it deserves. This is me, expressed in different ways:
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Defining ourselves as a function of location is very basic. Where we were born or we lived significant time is limiting at best, misleading at worst. Nevertheless, this is my answer to the standard “where are you from?":
I don't feel that I'm from any one specific place. Some places I lived in had greater influence on my life than other places where I resided for longer. The best geographical identifier for me is perhaps "European"; but "global soul" also resonates.
I was born in Kecskemét, Hungary in 1984. Just shy of 7 years old, my family moved to Reading, United Kingdom. I spent substantial time near Coventry during my undergrad studies at Warwick University (UK). I also studied in Paris, France for one year. I started working in London, UK in 2006.
One year later in 2007, I moved to Hong Kong. I subsequently lived in Tokyo for 6 months. I then moved back to London. An entrepreneurial and adventurous career change took me to Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo in Brazil, where I lived almost 6 years. In 2015 I lived in Singapore and France for my MBA degree. Upon graduation, I moved back to London where I spent 5 years. During this period, I spent significant time in Nigeria. I then became a nomad in 2021 during the COVID pandemic and spent my time between Hungary, Mexico, Portugal and London. Since 2022, my permanent stable home is near Lisbon.
In my heart I feel closest to Hungary, Brazil, and the UK.
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We often identify ourselves with what we DO or titles we hold at work. This holds true especially for competitive, money-driven megacities like New York, London, Singapore. Not only is this reductionist versus the greatness of human potential, but millions of people are in jobs that are not even aligned with who they are. So it's often even more misleading to define oneself by what you do professionally.
This is my response to the standard “What do you do?” question:
I'm a certified mindset and leadership coach. I also dedicated over 15yrs to impact investing .
My LinkedIn details this answer further. As a broad summary, I'm a certified coach and author on topics such as leadership, self-awareness, mental resilience, relationships, communication and awakening since 2020. Alongside this, I worked for 17 years in private equity / venture capital / impact / debt / angel investing in both entrepreneurial small firms and large global institutions.
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Some people hold their family name, their ancestry, family, their community very closely to their identities. Defining oneself with such parameters is also limiting. Everyone has their own unique gifts to bestow upon this world in this lifetime that may have little to do with their ancestors.
Racially I'm of white Caucasian ethnicity.
From an ancestral perspective, my parents are both 100% Hungarian from average socio-economic backgrounds, both originating from outside of Budapest. My close family includes a sister, her husband and 2 boys.
My full first name, Szabolcs, is a ancient native Hungarian name without Christian equivalent.
There are some loose theories out there about the origins of my name; the one I choose as real :-) because it resonates strongly is that "Szabolcs means 'freedom' or 'free man'. It is derived from the Hungarian word 'szabadság', which conveys the idea of liberty and independence. Szabolcs represents a free-spirited and adventurous individual who values his personal freedom. This name is a great choice for parents who want to raise a son with a strong sense of individuality and a desire for a life filled with exploration and self-expression".
Some of my spiritual guides have suggested I come from a line of shamanic practitioners.
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Similar to self-identification from a racial and ancestral perspective, this also groups an individual into a larger external grouping. Therefore, the true internal nature of the individual is lost.
My main tribes are:
1) friends from my undergraduate studies at Warwick Uni, UK
2) friends from my global MBA class
3) friends from the time I lived in Brazil
4) friends from the international community I'm part of in Portugal
5) my professional emerging market and investing networks worldwide
6) people I've coached
7) my friends and remote family members from my native Hungary
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In my essence, I am an Explorer, a Confidante, and an Optimiser.
With just these 3 words, I describe my identity that manifests itself naturally. I cannot help but be these roles in any situation at any moment in my life.
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If I were to say my values are kindness, honesty, perseverance, reliability, fairness,… would you know me better? Anyone else could respond with similar answers.
And would it even be true? No-one demonstrates these characteristics ALL the time. So these values are merely aspirational human traits. It says nothing about my identity. We all demonstrate positive characteristics when we are in a context that fulfils us. And we demonstrate negative human traits when our environment is not fulfilling.
A more powerful way to answer the question of who we are is with a hierarchy of values. The top themes that drive me forward in life, that are the most important to me are:
1) Human Development & Peak Performance
2) Deep Human Connection
3) Well-being (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual)
4) Freedom + Cultural Experiences
This is one of the most revealing and empowering ways to define oneself. It doesn't encapsulate everything about my identity of course. But it captures 80% of it. In 4 lines. It holds true for all stages of my life.
I often lead coaching clients through a structured process to identify their own values in a similar manner. It is a fundamental component of self-awareness to know your hierarchy of values.
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I interpret my spiritual identity as related to what my soul's mission is in this incarnation. You do not need to believe in souls to feel the special vibe of someone who is clearly being + doing exactly what they're supposed to in life. They radiate lifeforce, clarity, and magnetic energy. We are inspired when witnessing such alignment with one's life purpose.
Other terms than 'soul mission' may resonate more for you: soul-aligned life path, life purpose, true calling, True North.
Who am I at soul level?
My purpose in life is to be the trusted torch that illuminates the paths to greater fulfilment and elevated consciousness for people worldwide.
In general, the Masculine yearns for freedom. And the Feminine yearns to receive, give and BE love. -
There some personality maps and self-discovery tools and approaches that I group here into this 'other' category. I invite you to not judge the source or the process, but just have a read online about your own type of each approach. And then just see what lands with you!
These are my types:
Astrological sign: Capricorn sun, Capricorn moon, Pisces ascendant.
Human Design: Manifestor-Generator.
Numerology: Life path 8.
Gene Keys:
My Life's Work - Gene Key 38
My Evolution - Gene Key 39
My Radiance - Gene Key 48
My Purpose - Gene Key 21
Who I am, and who YOU are, and the depth of our unique human experiences and gifts go far beyond the labels we use to define ourselves. Labels confine our vastness and our incredible potential. Despite this limitation in human communication, with greater self-awareness we can articulate who we are in a way that empowers us to make better life choices.
Get in touch with me if you'd like to define with greater clarity who you are.